Open Letter to a Business Bully. Bullies in Business, Part 3

Say NO to bullying

Dear Business Bully,

Since you refused to take my phone calls and continued to fire off emails (a type of behavior we have a term for in the corporate environment – we call it seagull management – exemplified by your ability to fly in, make a lot of noise, drop a load of shit and then fly out), I want to make clear to you out of respect for your mastermind members: I never directly marketed to them.

But you’ll never know that because you refused to have a conversation with me. It wasn’t that I feared your response; I knew your response. I’d seen you do it to others. What I did was ask my colleagues for referrals to anyone they felt would be a good fit for my programming. This was out of respect for them. I never asked them directly because I never wanted them to feel uncomfortable.

As a former member of your community, frankly, I have no idea who your current members are. And while we’re on the subject, the individuals I reached out to are in fact my colleagues, friends, and social connections – many of whom have been guests on my show. A good number of them had already expressed a desire to further discuss partnering with me by becoming hosts. They are not strangers to me.

What you did was the equivalent of pushing me on the schoolyard and telling me that I couldn’t talk to any of your friends. You seemed to insist that they couldn’t be my friends because they were yours. I wonder how they’d feel knowing that this was your behavior? I know I’d feel betrayed.

And just for the record…

1. You don’t get to tell me how to run my business – you don’t carry the liability, you don’t pay the bills. Let me make this perfectly clear: I don’t work for you. This is my business. Honestly I couldn’t imagine trying to tell anyone else (unless they were paying me for business coaching) how to run their business.

2. How very shortsighted of you – you limit the options of the people whose lives you are supposed to be trying to expand. What other opportunities was I not exposed to (because of your insecurities) when I was a member of your mastermind?

3. Yes, YOU are a bully – you used intimidation to get what you want. Frankly, the reason I called and left messages to speak with you, as opposed to just ignoring you, was that you were obviously very comfortable with this behavior. Comfortable enough to have tried to pull it on me.

From the moment I opened that email, I was incensed – not because you impact my world in any way, shape or form, but because all I kept thinking about was how many times this had worked for you. How many other people have you intimidated into acquiescing to your demands? How many in your group or around you have backed down, missed out, dimmed their light in order to maintain your favor?

As a coach, mentor, and mastermind leader it is your responsibility – hell, you should feel it as your sacred calling – to lift your members and support them into their highest potential. Help them shine their light, knowing that many will shine brighter than you because it’s inevitable. If this is not what you’re in it for, then perhaps you should rethink why you are doing this.

I live my life by many values and maybe I’m too optimistic. I harbor no ill will towards you, I will continue to call upon you to do the best in all of our interactions as I will and have done.

I wish for you many blessings,
Kimberly Rinaldi

p.s. You may want to consider the following as it is one of my all-time favorite quotes and I happen to live in the city that bears his name.

I’ll lift you and you lift me, and we’ll both ascend together. ~John Greenleaf Whittier